7/30/2013

Just a quick update.  I finally got the results of my last PET scan back.  No cancer anywhere.  And in the words of my oncologist, my PET scan was "perfect."  Now I do, for the record, hate that word.  But if my cancer doctor wants to use it to describe how un-cancerous I am, I will not stop her.

So now that we know I have no visible signs of cancer anywhere, we are still stuck with this question of whether or not to do radiation.  We are seeking out a second opinion next week over at Memorial Sloan Kettering, so we'll see where we are after that meeting.

I also got word late today that NYU Anesthesiology feels my red blood cell count is too low for surgery based on blood tests taken a couple of weeks ago.  I've been on iron supplements for those two weeks so I am hoping that I can get in and get another blood test with MD tomorrow.  Obviously I'm also hoping that my count is up.  Rescheduling surgery is not at the top of my list of things I would like to do.

And oh yes, it turns out my hot flashes are normal for coming off the chemo meds.  Cytoxan apparently shuts down the ovaries, so I am going through menopause or something like it at the moment.  Nurse Eileen suggested that I simply stick a leg out from under the covers at night to cool down.  She is a very busy lady so I didn't bother going into the sordid details of how blazing hot my body gets.  But if sticking a leg out is a solution for hot flashes, then my flashes are not hot.  They are nuclear.

To round out the situation, I am also experiencing some fun killer mood swings.  These are par for the course with menopause.  Er, chemo recovery.  What's happening again?!  I have moments when I'm depressed and a few of those moments have been particularly intense.  If you'd like to read a bit into that, please don't let me stop you.  But I also have moments of clarity when all the shit falls away and I can see that life is so so good because everything is only here and now.  Here.  Right here with my kids tucked into their beds and a roof over my head and a husband on his way home and a working computer.  And now.  Alive and breathing and recovering.  Here and now.  It is a nice little mantra.