The Chemo Diaries. Week 2. Food and Energy.

Week 2: Lots and lots and lots of eating.  As in, every two hours.  As in, I'm not hungry.  

But that is what made it a successful week.  That and my dad.  Dad arrived on Monday and we both got to work napping and eating.  Just kidding.  Dad cooked and made me smoothies and walked me to therapy and walked me to my other therapy.  He babysat Wednesday night while Michael and I went on our first date since February.  And tonight he jumped in the pool in his shorts because Clio begged him to go swimming with her and he forgot his bathing suit.  He is Super Dad and Super Granddad and I don't think we've spent time like this together since I was 6 and he is amazing.  

Tuesday night I found myself lying in bed unable to fall asleep, a funny feeling stirring up somewhere in my stomach region.  (I don't like body parts and thinking about my insides but I know sometimes people say your stomach isn't really your stomach and what the fuck).  Anyway, it was 11pm but I knew my body was telling me to eat.  I tiptoed to the kitchen and found leftover mac and cheese and some chicken from fajitas in the fridge.  No veggies in sight so I warmed up my white on white and sat down to eat.  It occured to me that I would never ever do this in my other life.  I would have never felt the need to get out of bed and warm up some food at 11pm, and particularly not a large bowl of macaroni and cheese with chicken.  It was so foreign to me that I was a tiny bit scared that something terrible was going to happen to me.  Like...um...cancer.  Dad heard me me clanging around so he came out and had a sympathy snack with me and then we both went to bed and wished each other luck in falling asleep.  The mac n cheese with chicken was a game changer.  My body calmed down, I fell asleep, and the next morning I was a new woman. 

I bought some chemo scarves from some gals on Etsy who make them.  One of them, Pat from Kentucky, emailed me to see what my favorite color was because she wanted to throw in a free Daisy Pin.  Now we chat.  I learned through Pat about a gal named Heather who was 29 when she was diagnosed.  She started Fighting Fancy, a non-profit that sends out "goodie bags" to breast cancer patients under 40.  While I was browsing through her blog I learned about Kirsten (http://abumpandalump.blogspot.com/) who found out she was pregnant and two months later found out she had cancer.  Then I started to have heart palpitations and then I had to get off the internet.

My energy grew noticeably starting Wednesday to the point where, oddly, at night I was having trouble sleeping.  The irony.  Last week I was crying for energy and this week I am lying in bed WIDE awake at midnight wondering if I accidentally took some steroids.  Today, Friday, I walked the kids to school and kissed and hugged my friends and told them I felt great and they told me I looked great so I kissed them some more.  Dad and I took a morning walk, made Grandmom's cabbage rolls, and packed for a weekend in the country.  I did not take a nap nor did I feel like taking a nap!!  Dad finished the Bone Marrow broth he'd been making for three days.  Not really, but sometimes 24 hours can seem like three days, right?  And then we drove upstate.  

Which is where I am now.   Wondering if I might get two days of feeling like a Normal.  I think I might and I think I might like it a lot.  A lot a lot.  Monday I go get punched.